#WomensMonth: The Lixesha Series - Nicky Abdinor

Nicky Abdinor is an inspirational speaker and clinical psychologist based in Cape Town. Nicky is always commended on being a credible agent of change whether you are connecting with her one-on-one or in an audience. When you meet Nicky, it is hard not to recognise that she puts her message into practice!

She was born without arms and shortened legs. Despite these physical challenges, Nicky has a successful career and even drives an adapted car, taking "hands-free" to a whole new level! Nicky is the founder and chairperson of the registered non-profit organisation, Nicky's Drive which aims to fund car adaptations for people with disabilities in South Africa. Nicky is an advocate for mobility and independence and has a passion for challenging our perceptions of (dis)ability. She aims to INSPIRE, ENABLE, MOTIVATE!

1. What does the concept of Time mean to you?

Abdinor: Time is precious. It gives us the opportunity to learn, to progress and to find meaning in our relationships and experiences. It seems that we often only understand its value once it is taken away or lost. The greatest gift that we can give ourselves is to learn to appreciate the time that we have; to be mindful and fully present. When we dwell on the past (the “if only’s”), we can become depressed. When we worry too much about the future (the “what if’s”), we can become anxious. We need to learn to tolerate uncertainty. After all, if we worry too much about tomorrow, we cannot enjoy today.

2. What is the greatest thing you have learnt from a younger or older generation than yourself?

Abdinor: The younger generation has taught me about the importance of being adaptable to change. Technology advances are growing at a rapid rate and the young and old have to navigate the impact (positive and negative) of how we exist in the world. I cannot imagine growing up in a world with social media platforms – the complexity of my social relationships existed with notes being passed around class and long landline phone conversations once we got home! Our younger generation is teaching me to hold onto some of those values of human connection and communication, while being open and flexible to change that is inevitable.

3. Tell us about something in your expertise that took you years to learn.

Abdinor: It took me a long time to learn the importance and meaning of sharing my story. The first time I was ever asked to give a talk as a university student, my initial thought was, “What would I talk about?!” Furthermore, training as a Clinical Psychologist discourages personal disclosure with our clients, so it wasn’t always a comfortable space to be open and vulnerable on a public platform. Over the years, I’ve learnt about the power of sharing our stories and experiences. I’ve come to recognise that I do have a responsibility to share mine.

In my TEDx talk, I share the exact moment when I fully understood and embraced this responsibility. I met a new client for therapy who had lost an arm and a leg in an accident. Throughout our session, she kept asking, “But Nicky, how did you get a job?” It was the first time that she imagined that her disability may not be the end of the road for her.

4. Our TEDxCapeTownWomen theme this year is "Lixesha | It is time". What do you believe is the most pressing issue we as a community/city/country/world need to address at this moment in time?

Abdinor: It is time that we recognise that kindness is one of the greatest gifts that we can give. Kindness encourages respect, tolerance and giving back. I live by the principles of being kind to myself (self-care) and to be kind to others. Each person is facing a battle each day that we don’t always know about or fully understand.

If we look at any good work in our community, it is always linked to a personal story where we understood a need, could identify with a problem and felt empowered enough to believe that our contribution (no matter how small) could make a difference.

My non-profit, Nicky’s Drive, was founded because I understood the importance of mobility and independence for people with disabilities in South Africa. I knew the challenges that existed for people with disabilities who had limited options for accessible public transport and who had the dream to drive. To date, Nicky’s Drive has funded 13 car adaptation projects. The challenges still exist today and my own car project continues to face the obstacles shared in my TEDx talk. In the meantime, I know that I can continue to make a small difference in the lives of 13 people (and more to come!).

Now is the time for each of us to recognise the impact of our own kindness and our power to make a meaningful contribution in our community.

Website: www.nickyabdinor.com; Twitter: @Nicky_Abdinor; Facebook: facebook.com/nickyabdinorspeaker.

Read the Lixesha series here.

Watch Nicky's TEDx video below: