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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Fairy tales have been getting their fair share of fun in the sun and now it's Hansel & Gretel's turn to shine on the silver screen. As a child you must have asked yourself what Hansel and Gretel got up to after killing the witch and going back home to their father. Were they mad at him for being a complete scumbag and choosing their wicked (a clue right there that she's not a savoury character) stepmother over them and killed him? Were they traumatised at having killed a person and ended up in a nuthouse literally made of an assortment of nuts? Did they acquire a taste for killing witches and carry on in that line of business?
Well, it seems that they went into the witch-hunting business according to director and writer Tommy Wirkola. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is, technically speaking, not a good movie, but it seems that movies have tapped into an element that keeps audiences interested: fun. The movie is delightfully dark, over-the-top violent and just all-round funny. Wirkola's witches' brew works. It's all, "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble". The 3D effect are very good and makes witches exploding on-screen loads of fun to watch. I wouldn't recommend that you take your children to see this movie. Alas, this fairy tale is not for them.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch HuntersHansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters


The witches keep you laughing


The violence is all in the spirit of fun and no one will complain about the number of witches harmed during the making of the film. Jeremy Renner (The Avengers, 2012) plays as good a Hansel as you can ask for and the fact that his character developed diabetes from being forced to eat too much candy by the first witch they kill is a cool addition. He has to inject himself with insulin every few hours or die. Gemma Arterton (Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, 2010) is straight up hot as Gretel and she's kick-ass too. She ends up hanging out with a troll named Edward and it's just the funniest thing ever. Famke Janssen's introduction as the evil witch and main antagonist, Muriel, is something taken straight out of X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). That aside, she pulls off a very grotesque villain along with the rest of her creepy coven. The witches keep you laughing.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is not a great movie, but it's well worth your time. It doesn't take itself seriously and is very playful; it's humorously violent and has good 3D effects. It's a fun way to spend a Saturday night with friends or with a date.

About Charles Siboto

Charles Siboto is a delightful, youngish person. He firmly believes that kindness matters and cannot abide people who are asshats.

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