Empathy or avoidance? The communicator’s guide to difficult conversations

Understanding when to let things slide and when to speak up is a skill that every communicator needs to hone. As Brandfundi, we navigate this challenge daily with intention, insight, and impact.

Here’s how we see it:

Tolerance vs empathy: What’s the difference?

Tolerance is about accepting differences without necessarily understanding or engaging with them. It’s often a crucial, short-term strategy to maintain harmony. On the other hand, empathy is an active effort to understand and connect with others, which can lead to deeper, more constructive communication.

While tolerance might keep the peace, empathy truly builds relationships. The key question is: when does tolerance become avoidance, and when does empathy become an invitation for change?

When to “ignore and accept”

1. Minor personal preferences or habits

Not everyone operates in the same way. Some people are habitually late to meetings, overly verbose in emails, or struggle with small talk. Tolerance may be the best course if these behaviours don’t impact the broader objectives.

2. Cultural and personality differences

Different backgrounds and experiences shape how people communicate and engage. Suppose a behaviour is a different way of working rather than being harmful. In that case, it’s often better to accept and accommodate.

3. Situations of low stakes

If an issue doesn’t significantly affect the business, team dynamics, or brand perception, it may not be worth addressing. Choosing battles wisely is a key part of communication strategy.

When to have the tough conversation

Effective communication means knowing when silence is harmful. Addressing problematic behaviour early can prevent long-term damage to workplace culture, brand reputation, and overall performance.

1. Workplace culture at risk

A toxic environment breeds disengagement and resentment. Passive tolerance is not an option if words or actions disrupt team dynamics.

2. Reputation on the line

In brand communications, ignoring inappropriate behaviour can lead to public backlash. Addressing damaging rhetoric is crucial, whether it’s a client, colleague, or representative.

3. Impact on performance

When behaviour hinders productivity, affects deadlines, or lowers morale, a direct but constructive conversation is essential to maintain efficiency and collaboration.

Knowing when to speak up ensures a healthier, more resilient work environment.

Tools for navigating awkward conversations

• The SBI Model (Situation-Behaviour-Impact)

  Describe the situation, outline the behaviour, and explain its impact. This removes personal attacks and makes the conversation about the issue, not the person.

• The “I” statement approach

  Instead of accusing (“You always miss deadlines”), reframe it as a personal observation: “I’ve noticed that the last few deadlines have been missed, and I’d like to understand if there’s anything I can do to help.”

• Active listening and emotional intelligence

  Approach conversations with curiosity rather than confrontation. Validate the other person’s perspective before presenting your own.

• Framing it as a shared goal

  Instead of making it about criticism, present the conversation as a joint effort to improve the situation: “I want us to find a way to work better together.”

• Set boundaries and expectations

  If tolerance creates an unhealthy dynamic, set clear expectations moving forward: “I understand that you prefer working in a certain way, but for our team’s efficiency, we need to find a middle ground.”

Finding the balance

Tolerance and empathy are valuable tools, but neither should be applied indiscriminately. Knowing when to let things go and when to speak up is a strategic decision that can shape brand perception, workplace culture, and overall communication effectiveness.

Communicators aim to foster an environment where respect and accountability thrive. Silence can sometimes be an ally, but at other times, speaking up is the only responsible choice. Mastering this balance is what sets good communicators apart from great ones.