GTH Live Series 2022 Grand Final
The chat is initiated, on request, by Old Racing Fella (ORF), a 50-something racing purist and lifetime supporter of thoroughbred racing. The young chap fired the first shot.
YIB: “I agree with the young and intelligent bit. But why ‘Bore’?
ORF: “That’s a description just for purposes of recording our talk, really. But you do play video games all day. And you make those awful Tik-Tok clips and write codes that nobody cares about. Or you read all day about Artificial Intelligence and philosophy. You never come out of your room and you don’t work!”
YIB: “Wow, I feel so inspired now. But I can tell you a million things you are not aware of? Did you know, for example, that the latest Tesla automotive models in the US can fart? It’s officially called Emissions Testing Mode, installed for pranksters, with sound settings for passengers and pedestrians. Do you know that Artificial Intelligence will replace most known jobs within the next 7-10 years? Do you care? I have an online business. Have you ever seen me without money?”
ORF: “Money? To feed yourself or to buy data? I haven’t seen a Ferrari parked in your garage? Oh, and listen, AI won’t come to that. Humans will ensure a balance between humans and robots. I don’t like your hairstyle, by the way.”
YIB: “You are way out of touch with society and the world. Your problem is that you don’t understand me. Or my friends. Let me tell you, you say you do, but you don’t respect our generation. You think we are freaks. Admit it. Are you stuck in the 1960s?”
ORF: “Let’s leave it there. You and your buddies will come running to us when you’re out of cash and ideas. I want to talk to you about horseracing.”
YIB: “Oh, cool, that’s the sport I’ve seen you study with your feet up on the couch for my full 24 years on earth. Same thing, day in and day out. And by Race 6 you’ve lost the lot and you’re snoring away. Is that your Maserati I see in the garage?”
ORF: “Your sense of humour is astounding for a man with so little ambition. They need waiters in the Grandstand Room at the racetrack. Can I arrange an interview for you?”
YIB: “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll be bored to death between serving drinks. I’d rather stay home and play Minecraft.”
ORF: “Seriously, I have rented a private suite for next Saturday. It’s all catered for, great food and drinks free. Bring your friends, there is room for 10!”
YIB: “Uhm. I’m not sure. It’s a really long day.”
ORF: “Oh please, there are nine races to play on. And you can have a nice, free party.”
YIB: “Sure, but you have to wait, like, 30 minutes between races. And listen to all those guys talking about form and tipping horses and wallowing in their own glory when they fluke them right. It’s a bit much after a while.”
ORF: “But your mates will like to bet. I’ll help them. I’ll get good information!”
YIB: “Just don’t explain form to them. Please. It’s way too complicated. Takes too much time to figure out. And then those so-called form horses seldom win. Maybe the guys will bet on something, but they’ll want to go home after a few races. Too boring, racing.”
ORF: “But everybody likes horses, surely!”
YIB: “Yes, we do, but up close is better than seeing them out there.”
ORF: “We can stand next to the rail and watch them.”
YIB: “If there were more young people my age, more interesting characters down there maybe, maybe. You need more people from across the spectrum at racing. My female mates do love the horses. But they don’t want to be bored waiting between races.”
ORF: “Up in the suite we can have snacks and drinks while you wait?”
YIB: “You know what you should have? Onboard cameras, like they have in F1 motor racing. So we can hear what the jockeys say and shout in a race. And see the horses’ manes blow in the wind and hear how they gallop, close up. And to see and hear what happens behind the scenes. The other day two jockeys had a fist fight. We’d like to see action like that!”
ORF: “TV presentations have improved.”
YIB: “Yes, but racing needs to be more upbeat and exciting. And fast.”
ORF: “What about team racing. Teams, like they have in 20-20 cricket?”
YIB: “Yes, sounds interesting. I’d like that. With all getting points and racing against each other you mean? Two at a time?”
ORF: “Yes, two teams with four or five riders in a side per race. But now that you mention it, match races used to be popular way back when. That’s an idea to consider.”
YIB: “Oh, and the jockeys mustn’t abuse their horses, we don’t like to see that. Every young person I know gets cross and sad about that, actually.”
ORF: “What do you mean by abuse? Jockeys don’t do that?”
YIB: “They do. They hit them hard, in every race!”
ORF: “Oh good grief, those whips are safely padded. They don’t hurt!”
YIB: “Mate, tell that to the masses on social media! You’re never going to win that one.”
ORF: “Aargh! I knew this was coming. This ‘wokeness’!”
YIB: “Call me, call us, whatever you like but either way we are the future? Maybe time to adapt?”
ORF: “That’s not going to be easy my friend.”
